Updated Script 5

Updated Script 5 by Peta-gaye Brown 

I've made a few changes to incorporate the feeling that the girl has body issues and that the machine is the last straw that kills her.

Rewritten Script

Script rewrite by Peta-gaye Brown 

In this script i'm trying to establish that the girl has weight issues and that the boy grows up to be surgeon in a subtle way. It's getting a bit long so I need to figure out the parts that are not needed in the script to tell the story.

Development of my script

Obsession script by Peta-gaye brown 

The Script for Idea 8: Storytelling and Commission

I decided to go with idea 8 and to start on a script this is what iv'e come up with. 

Script Idea by Peta-gaye Brown 

I like the script but its running time is 1:19 seconds I was thinking that I could get rid if the opening scene. If you think there is a part that is not needed please feel free to comment below, also if you think of something that I could change in terms of camera direction to make the scene more effective please feel free to comment.