Sunday, 13 January 2013

Potential script idea: Storytelling and commission

After receiving  feedback about script idea three from my peers I incorporated the ideas we talked about to create this idea. 

Idea 4 (a development of idea 3)

A Taxidermist was trying to develop a machine that could preserve the skins of the animals that he captured from his hunting expeditions. Unfortunately the machine wouldn’t work as he wanted but he discovered that it had a different purpose when his wife fell into the machine while dusting his office. She came out looking like she did 30 years ago when he met her in her 20’s. Realising the potential for the machine, the Taxidermist set up a cosmetic surgery under a false alias as a Doctor. So that potential patients wouldn’t question the safety of his machine. He made a good living from his cosmetic surgery machine, his clients were all rich wealthy old women who wanted to go back to the days of there youthful appearance. They were the only people who could afford the high price tag for gaining their youthful looks back.

His Cat lulu loved to play in his office where he kept his favourite preserved hunting finds , he had captured  a little bird that morning  and laid it in a bag on his office table. The cat being curious decided to investigate the contents of the bag. The bird was in fact still a live, the cat and the bird wondered into the surgery room as a patient was under going their transformation in the machine. In the Cats attempt to capture the little bird he fell into the machine with the bird in his paws. They both fell into the heart of the machine, pushing the ball bearings out of the machine, this then fused the two parts of the machine together making the machine work differently. The Result of the cat and bird falling into the machine was eminent. When the machine doors opened a young female part cat and bird was inside. The ‘Doctor’ unsure of what to do with this creature, knocked it unconscious with the nearest object he could find. He then decided to mount it and display it in his office, claiming it to be a creature he killed on one of his hunting expeditions. 

1 comment:

  1. Greetings from Florida, Peta-gaye :)

    Okay - I'm reading this over and I'm just thinking it's all a bit complicated for a 1 min animated short, and also I'm not sure of its tone, and also I'm not sure that the whole cat/bird thing is helping you really. I'm wondering if you're getting caught up in the literalism of 'taxidermist' - because suddenly you've got animals in the mix, when you can use 'taxidermist' simply to mean someone who preserves the semblance of life. I can't help thinking that you need to strip it down and keep it simple; I've been thinking about this story, and I'm wondering if it could be darker and more straight-forward; for example;

    You introduce a couple, wherein the man is always correcting his wife's appearance; making her do diets and dye her hair etc. He wants her to be perfect, and is always buying her make-up and hair-dye, whatever. At some point her body starts to sag etc. so he books her an appointment at a top class clinic boasting an amazing 'nip/tuck' machine. She enters the machine, but something goes wrong (ball-bearings come dislodged) - there's a big explosion, smoke - and the audience sees that she's now beautiful - but also dead; a preserved corpse. The audience expects the husband to be furious with the plastic surgeon guy, but instead, knowing that his wife will be 'forever young', he congratulates him. 'At last,' he says. 'She's perfect.' Or something like that. I just think you need to keep it more simple - and more properly creepy.